Yellow Rose's Garden

Let's start today with something silly:

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.  Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money so she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.  If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.  To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back.  He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.  One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.  "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today."  "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said.  The wife did and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and fainted. 

On the card it was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce."


Sex in the Dark

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.  Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic.

"You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . you explain the kids."

Send this to your good friends and let them have a laugh or else you'll have a bad sex life forever!!!

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For those that enjoy the writing of Diana Gabaldon, author of the Outlander series, you might want to listen to the podcast from her. She's discussing her Lord John series, but it's interesting nonetheless.

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I seem to me having one of those male/female disconnection days. So help me, if my son whines at me again when I ask him to help out around here, I'm going to pop him one. I told him, last night, that we needed to get the sand bags of the car. They've only been in there since what.. Monday, Tuesday?

I ended up taking the sand out of the car myself.

Used up the last of the rib eye for a crock pot dinner.