Some Funnies!
Sep. 7th, 2009 10:40 pmI'm cleaning out my e-mail bin of jokes, etc. Some are risque.
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I'm cleaning out my e-mail bin of jokes, etc. Some are risque.
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Sunday, I finished cleaning out and sorting what might best be called a memory box. Post cards, brochures from places I've been over the years, as well as other odds and ends. If you are in the same age group as me, you might recall Gulf gas stations had magazine called "The Wonderful World of Disney." I found mine buried in that box. So, that's another thing cleared up. Found all kinds of things like the reproduction of the front page of the newspaper that listed the dead at Little Big Horn, post cards from various places in the US. I'm fond of those souvenior post card booklets. Those are the ones that you tear out the card to mail and have a mini one for yourself. Somehow, I have two of those from Watkins Glen, NY. So that still leaves me with that one big box to look through, but still headed in the right direction. Next step is moving dressers, cleaning behind them, running the carpet cleaner under them and dumping what we no longer want and can't wear.
Monday was mostly a laundry day. It's 9:30 and except for a couple of things that won't be moving from the living room anytime soon, the house is in some semblance of order. I still have a load of clothes in the washer and another in the dryer. I have two sweaters to repair, will probably do one tonight. I used three sequins and three beads to fix the first one. Made it look like a tiny gold floral pin.
Tuesday. I need to pay the car insurance and cable bill, pick up a few odds and end (like dry dog food) and see about a wheelbarrow from Home Depot. Might pick up something fast for dinner. In house goals, maintain status quo and create no new messes. Need to read more of In Praise of the Crone as it's due on Thursday and I'm only about half way through. Could renew it while I'm out on Tuesday, that'd work.
I'm off to mess with my Sims for a while. I haven't had so much fun with the game in ages!
( A funny! )
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Happy birthday to chaselemonde and
nikkinicola!
"Men, can't live with them, can't shoot them, or you can't collect the insurance!" -- CAK
Ladies, feel free to borrow that!
I need to search for one of my Irish Fairy Tale books by Leslie Conron. Last I saw it, it was in my suitcase on the way home from Kentucky.
I have so many projects that I would like to work on and can't wrap my brain around them. I have things I should and/or want to do like... I'd like to get a bunch of odd cleaning projects done. One of these days, I'll post a list. Oh, wait.. .that's more procrastination.
Meanwhile, here are some funnies!
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I had an entry started, but this was in in e-mail and I had to share the chuckles!!
1: When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station..... and that's how the fight started....
2: I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that's how the fight started.
3: After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'.
And that's how the fight started.....
4: My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby able.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And that's how the fight started.....
5: I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And that's how the fight Started.....
6: I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.' And that's how the fight started.....
I'm clearing out my e-mail as well as bagging and tagging. I found this funny in the archives, Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
( More stuff back here! Some funny, some somewhat religious. )
I'm worn out from running about my house cleaning up and doing laundry. Gads ... laundry. Piles! Urgh.. where'd it come from? In fact, I'm STILL doing laundry at almost midnight. I'm beginning to wonder if it's breeding! Scary thought!
I was going to RP during Sasha's shift, but opted to check mail and veg for a while. I logged later on and yakked in IMs a bit, but mostly, I want to lay out an outline for some story pieces to get things moving again.
Tuesday's household foibles:
Clean bedroom and bath
MORE Laundry
Dinner duty (Thinking pot roast and potatoes, but might grab some oriental veggies at the store including snow peas)
Quick dinner means I can finish the front of the yard that I didn't get to when Kevin had his time off.
Top on the list is getting Tom's tuition paid.
I discovered that Firefox doesn't give back RAM that it sucked up until I close it. Odd.
Some funnies and other things behind the cut.
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The first post in the following is important because I spent several hours today venting, ranting and being generally angry. I still have more to get rid of, but in the meantime ... laughter helps.
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I'm trying to focus on positive things. If not positive then productive.
I spent Saturday evening and much of the night indulging in the insanity that is Sims 2. I went through my Desiderata Valley neighborhood, all of 6 houses, to catch up on a few things. I also want to clean out some of the objects that are no longer needed. When I added the Kitchen and Bath Stuff Pack a whole slew of new appliance colors, etc. were added, so there's no need for many of custom content ones. Free Time has a lot of cool stuff in it and the new EP comes out at the end of this month!
I used the lot loading time to do a bit of needlework. Did a bit of reading as well. Ok, it was only two chapters, but, I rediscovered that during certain times of day my little office is the perfect place to work on stitchery or to read.
I got an ad for something called Magic Jack. It's a gizmo that allows you to make phone calls through your phone, computer,USB port, and broadband internet connection. Anyone else heard of it?
Monday, I have the usual stuff to do. It's one of those ... I should be, things. Housework is pretty well caught up, come cooler weather, I'll be get into larger projects like cleaning out my closet. There are clothes in there that no longer fit and need to go. Old makeup and who knows what else that ought to be tossed. Old papers that need to be shredded.
Silliness and Hmm things behind the cut.
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To those that offered well wishes for my son, I thank you very much!
I need to buy more Tide. I forgot it at the store. I think there's enough to get through the pile of laundry I have waiting. I cleared up the master bedroom and bath as well as got laundry cleared up.
For Sunday, I need to get the living room picked up and hopefully all the laundry done and put up. Kitchen, office, and bill paying need to squared away by Monday night; maybe Monday afternoon. Tom needs his ID card taken care of on Monday. That's always a hassle and a long wait, so, Tuesday afternoon when he gets off work we need to get his student ID, parking permit and hit the bookstore for his books. Hopefully, all of what he needs will be in stock.
Also on my to do list are a few story notes and other projects. One thing at a time.
Some strangeness and other stuff behind the cut!
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Other than being sore, Tom's doing well. I think he's going to spend the next few days sleeping a lot.
I slept the better part of today. The last few days have been draining, but thankfully all is looking good. ::knocks wood:: They said if anything showed in the biopsy that we would have gotten a call as soon as they finished the testing. Weird dreams, feeling groggy and my stomach is catching up, but otherwise I'm coping with life.
( Silliness! )
I finally got my piece up for K. I was somewhat surprised to learn that the story so far is fifty, count 'em, fifty pages in Word! It's 29 posts long.
I opened a piece of e-mail that had a picture suitable for http://icanhascheezburger.com/. I giggled myself silly for about three minutes!
Life is moving along. I should do a voice post again, but I always feel like I should be reading a script. I get into that whole ... ummm... ahh... I forget thing!
It's Friday, so the other half should be off early and we should have dinner out. I have to admit that the new schedule is quite nice. I rather like having the three of us at the table for dinner by 7 pm at least four days a week. Sure beats 10 PM!
Bagged and tagged up to 13 Oct 2005.
Behind the cut is some silliness, may contain crude language and political humor.
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My son-in-law, Chris, calls his grandma Meme. She passed this along. I know there are at least four grandparents on my FL, the rest of y'all might get a kick out of this, too.
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