Yellow Rose's Garden

I'm having a bit of tea while listening to disc 3 of the Golden Compass and doing a bit of needlework before bed. Yes, I know, I should have been in bed long before now (6 AM).

I sent off Mom and Dad's gifts as well as Aaron's belated birthday gifts. I still have two large boxes to mail and one smallish one. I sent a bunch of the wedding DVDs off and still have a few more to make and mail out.

I would like to get Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End to add to the other two and complete the set.

Wednesday's to do list:

UHBS (Laundry, dishes, dinner, etc.)
Christmas cards, etc.
Needlework
RP
Sort through mail pile

Tom has church today. Going to send him with the water bill to drop it off. Also he needs to ask his pastor to make an announcement about a friend of his.  We got a call a pastor in CA asking us to contact the family of Tom's friend, Ryan, if we hear from him. I told the pastor that I would be glad to have Ryan contact him and/or contact him or have Tom do so if we hear from him. No luck. I'm sure the parents are worried, but I can't put them in touch with their child if he doesn't show up here. Today a letter arrived in care of Tom for Ryan. I'm assuming this means he never contacted his family. He was supposed to be either moving back here or coming for a visit.

More later.

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It's nearly nine. I have dinner cooking and the second load of laundry in the dryer. I did no cards, yet, but I did get some needlework done. I watched an episode of Bones - Season 2 while folding laundry and have disc 5 of 9 of the Golden Compass in the machine right now.  

On my library trip yesterday,  picked up The Subtle Knife, The Dark is Rising, Chamber of Secrets, and Eldest.

Some silliness and food for thought behind the cut.:


Take note that I have no idea as to the veracity of some of the following, it just struck me as funny.

Some little known American naval history.

The U.S.S. Constitution (Old Ironsides) as a combat vessel carried 48,600 gallons of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men. This was sufficient to last six months of sustained operations at sea. She carried no evaporators.

However, let it be noted that according to her log, "On July 27, 1798, the U.S.S. Constitution sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of fresh water, 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum."

Her mission: "To destroy and harass English shipping." Making Jamaica on 6 October, she took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum.

Then she headed for the Azores, arriving there 12 November. She provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons of Portuguese wine.

On 18 November, she set sail for England. In the ensuing days she defeated five British men-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchant men, salvaging only the rum aboard each.

By 26 January, her powder and shot were exhausted. Nevertheless, although unarmed she made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde in
Scotland. Her landing party captured a whiskey distillery and transferred 40,000 gallons of single malt Scotch aboard by dawn.

Then she headed home.

The U.S.S. Constitution arrived in Boston on 20 February, 1799, with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, no rum, no wine, no whiskey and 38,600 gallons of stagnant water.

GO NAVY!

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George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" " I'm four and a half!"
You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?"
"I'm gonna be 16!"
You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . you become 21. Even the words sound
like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you
REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind
is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER : Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares? But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!  

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Brooms 

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, 'I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!!!'

'IMPOSSIBLE !!' said the groom broom.   "WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!'

Oh for goodness sake... laugh, or at least groan. Life's too short not to enjoy... even these silly little cute jokes. Sounds to me like she's been 'sweeping' around!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

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This originally came with pictures . Here are the sayings that were on them:

I just wanted you to know that I have entered the snapdragon part of my life. Part of me has snapped and the rest is draggin'!

I don't skinny dip, I chunky dip!

Dear IRS:

I would like to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list!

I only have a kitchen because it came with the house!

I'm not 40 something! I'm 39.95 plus shipping and handling.

I don't have hot flashes! I have short private vacations in the tropics.

If it's not one thing, it's your mother.

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands!

Born free! Now, I'm expensive!

A friend is someone who thinks you are a good egg even though you're slightly cracked or sometimes slightly scrambled!

May you always have
Love  to Share , Health to Spare, and Friends that Care!  

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I WISH TO INTRODUCE:
 
MY FIVE NEW BOYFRIENDS!!!

I am seeing 5 gentlemen every day

As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed.

Then I go to see John
Then Charlie Horse comes along, & when he is here, he takes a lot of my time & attention.

When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up & stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint.

After such a busy day, I'm really tired & glad to go to bed w/ Ben Gay.

What a life!

Oh, yes, I'm also flirting w/Al Zymer .

And remember: Life is like a roll of toilet paper The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes...so have fun, think "good thoughts" only, learn to laugh at yourself, and "Count your blessings!!!!!!!" 

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When a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding a new wing to their hospital,
The Allergists voted to scratch it and the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve,
and the Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.

The Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted, the Pathologists yelled, 'Over my dead body', while the Pediatricians said, 'Oh, Grow up!'

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, the Radiologists could see right through it, and the Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, 'This puts a whole new face on the matter.'

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.

The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists left the decision up to some asshole in administration.